Zobacz utwór: Bells

Monty Python - Bells

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Man: I wish those bloody bells would stop.
Wife: Oh, it s quite nice dear, it s Sunday, it s the church.
Man: What about us atheists? Why should we ave to listen to that sectarian turmoil?
Wife: You re a lapsed atheist, dear.
Man: The principle s the same. Bleeding C-of-E. The Mohmedans don t come round here wavin bells at us! We don t get Buddhists playing bagpipes in our bathroom! Or Hindus harmonizing in the hall! The Shintuists don t come here shattering sheet glass in the shithouse, shouting slogans...
Wife: All right, don t practice your alliteration on me.
Man: Anyway, when I get my membership card and blazer badge back from the League of Agnostics, I shall urge the executive to lodge a protest against that religious racket! Pass the butter knife!
Wife: WHAT??
Man: PASS THE BUTTER KNIFE!! THANK YOU! IF ONLY WE HAD SOME KIND OF MISSILE!
Wife: OLD ON, I LL CLOSE THE WINDOW.
(Sound: Window closing, bells get faint, but are still there)
Man: If only we had some kind of missile, we could take the steam out of those bells.
Wife: Well, you could always use the number 14-St. Joseph-the-somewhat- divine-on-the-hill ballistic missile. It s in the attic.
Man: What ballistic missile would this be, then?
(Sound: Bells begin to get increasingly louder)
Wife: I made it for you, it s your birthday present!
Man: Just what I wanted, ow nice of you to remember, my pet. EAR!
Wife: WHAT?
Man: THOSE BELLS ARE GETTING LOUDER!
Wife: WHAT?
Man: THOSE BELLS ARE GETTING LOUDER!!
Wife: THE BELLS ARE GETTING LOUDER! OOOH, LOOK!
Man: WHAT?
Wife: THE CHURCH, IT S GETTING CLOSER! ITS COMING DOWN THE ILL!
Man: WHAT A LIBERTY!
Wife: IT S TURNING INTO OUR LANE!
Man: STRAIGHT THROUGH THE LIGHTS, OF COURSE.
Wife: TYPICAL, YOU BETTER GO PUT IT OUT OF IT S MISERY.
Man: WHERE S THIS MISSILE, THEN?
Wife: IT S IN THE AIRING CUPBOARD. PRESS THE BUTTON MARKED CHURCH!
Man: OW DO I AIM IT?
Wife: IT AUTOMATICALLY HOMES IN ON THE NEAREST PLACE OF WORSHIP!
Man: THAT S ST. MARKS!
Wife: IT ISN T NOW, LOOK!! OH, ITS OP NING THE GATE.
Man: WHAT? USE THE MEGAPHONE!
Wife: IT S OP NING THE GATE!!
Man: I LL POP UP THE AIRING CUPBOARD.
Wife: HURRY UP, ITS TRAMPLING OVER THE AZALIAS!
(Sound: Missle launch, explosion, bells diminish)
Man: Did I it it?
Wife: Yes, right up the aisle.
Man: Well I ve always said, There s nothing an agnostic can t do if he really doesn t know whether he believes in anything or not